Writing from the Heart: When Karma Intervenes

Writing from the heart? It’s complicated, cathartic, even karmic…

UPDATE:  I originally wrote this post in early 2017, heavily self-censored. In September 2021, I’m sharing again with more truth.   

2017…

What happens when we write from the heart? (And share it?)

I recently read an article from a fellow blogger who said when she started blogging ten years ago, she saw it as “simply journaling – an electronic version of something she’d done as a child in her pink Hollie Hobby diary.” It was a place to write from her heart without – at the time, she said, considering the lives she might touch, the audience she might reach.

Instead, she focused on chronicling her life. She said over the years (and through conversation with others), she’s come to realize that blogging is a way for her to invite folks into her home virtually, sharing details of her family’s life – children graduating, her husband’s illness, those sorts of things – and recognizes her responsibility to her audience and the ramifications of her words.

Her article got me thinking: What if I blogged from the heart?

Would I repel or connect with people if I shared my honest journey?

There’ve been times when I have. For instance, when my youngest sister was diagnosed in late 2014 with breast cancer and when I was struggling with leaving the classroom for the second and final time (2015). In both instances (which happened simultaneously), I was overwhelmed and turned to blogging to share my feelings.

But for the most part, I don’t blog with my ‘most real’ thoughts and feelings coming out in living color.

When your heart feels ugly and dark, sharing feels waaaaaay too complicated. Inviting others in? Oh, hell no. That’s just stupidly embarrassing. Thank you, but no, not today. Or any day. Instead, I tuck my real thoughts neatly into a “nice version” – for reasons I explained in candid detail a few nights ago in a post that was brutally honest.

But as I was ready to hit PUBLISH and share my honest truth, WordPress notified me: WI-FI DROPPED. You are offline. Draft NOT saved. Poof. My HONEST, AUTHENTIC, RAW 400+ word blog post about why I don’t write from the heart, was GONE.

Don’t want to hurt people’s feelings.

Don’t want to offend people.

Don’t want to create conflict.

Blah. Blah. Blah.  <– (real me!)

Karmic intervention? Serendipity? Maybe.

What the heck happened? Maybe being THAT honest melted my PC! Or maybe karma wanted me to consider which words were the best choices and lean into how my story might impact others. So many maybes.

Four years forward— 2021: How Time and Life Change Us

It’s inevitable that time changes things, right? Four years after my original post (above) I’m back in front of these words, this time with important people missing from my life, including my mom, who died unexpectedly earlier this year. I chose to retire early from my 27-year teaching career. We downsized and moved back to the coast. Thankfully & finally! And… I’ve been finding my way back to writing and blogging. 2021 has been a year of CHANGE in so many ways.

Life isn’t dark now. It’s mostly filled with peace after making big life changes over the past year. But it’s also filled with heavy sadness as I mourn my mom’s death, trying to understand. I hope this heaviness diminishes with time.

Or do I?

Truth? Parts of me want this hurt to stay close to the surface, raw with reminders. To sting me. To keep me in check. To not let me be complacent about people. And love. And acceptance. And time. This is my truth in 2021.

For years, I encouraged students to write from the heart. And 100s of them did. Deeply. Painfully. Honestly.

Now I encourage grownups to do the same…  

Write your truth. Ask the tough questions. Find the hidden answers. Accept the REAL and squash the crap that gets in the way.

It’s time to write from your heart. It’s time to move past protecting and on to connecting— with questions, answers, ideas, dreams, and plans. Are you ready?

signature Robin